“Vapulation” – an obscure word for flogging – how it hurt memorising that one! “Rubious” was another one of Sylvia’s obscure words, one that would drive any Scrabble opponent into a red mist rage.  It took fewer smacks to learn that one, perhaps because ‘the colour of rubies’ was poetic enough to be memorable. Now I’m on my fourth twenty-ninth birthday I still persevere with men. Heaven knows why, as they’re mostly useless .  But I much prefer spanking women.  And the most recent jewel in my crown was Svetlana, a Russian mafia princess.

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Miss Makeover