Archive for Miss Makeover

Time they made hetero sexuality legal, grumbled Eric Morecambe impersonator Philip Larkin, complaining about the legalisation of homosexuality.  “But they have made it legal,” said one of the wedlock junkies he was embroiled with. “It’s called marriage.” A bit too legal, he grumbled.

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Miss Makeover: PHILIP LARKIN, BALD GIT SURROUNDED BY WEDLOCK JUNKIES

FOXY BOXING Have you ever tried to elicit sympathy for a badly sprained wrist?

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Miss Makeover: “My boyfriend’s like that. It’s almost impossible to make him come.”

Miss Makeover says… My mother is difficult. And I am impossible. Let’s drop the euphemisms

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Miss Makeover: “BEAUTY” AND THE BEASTLY MY MOTHER MEETS GEEZER

Some clever dick said there would be less trouble in the world if we all stayed at home.

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Miss Makeover: I LOVE YOU: HOW TO END A RELATIONSHIP WITH JUST THREE WORDS

FETIQUETTE. MANNERS FOR MANIACS by Miss Makeover Americans tend to think there are codes for everything. In the leather community a handkerchief in one pocket means sub, the other pocket means Dom.

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Miss Makeover:FETIQUETTE. MANNERS FOR MANIACS

Aug
14

Martin Amis: Breasts or Bottoms

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MARTIN AMIS: BREASTS OR BOTTOMS?

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Martin Amis: Breasts or Bottoms

Aug
13

In Praise of Rounder Women

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IN PRAISE OF ROUNDER WOMEN My friend Miss Plum doesn’t care about her ample poundage.

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In Praise of Rounder Women

Aug
04

I picked my tawse up…

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This’ll make you tingle, you hard-arsed bitch.

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I picked my tawse up…

Geezer Hardnut said he’d spank me if and when I ever sobered up, long and hard, good and proper. I remember him speaking very quietly when he said my bottom would be red raw, I remember getting wet, then frightened because he meant it. He was cold-eyed yet a little sad, as if it really was that old cliche, he didn’t want to do it but I needed to be taught a lesson

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Geezer Said He’d Spank Me, Long and Hard, Good and Proper

Geezer Hardnut said he’d spank me if and when I ever sobered up, long and hard, good and proper. I remember him speaking very quietly when he said my bottom would be red raw, I remember getting wet, then frightened because he meant it. He was cold-eyed yet a little sad, as if it really was that old cliche, he didn’t want to do it but I needed to be taught a lesson

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Geezer Said He’d Spank Me, Long and Hard, Good and Proper